Lessons from the Sea: Reflections on Life, Love, and Engineering on a fishing trip

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A little tale as I break my hiatus and comeback to a pastime I had forgotten… that of writing… about life, love and religion, and now blending it with a bit of Engineering

Introduction – The Scene from the Surface

It was 03:00hrs on a Saturday morning when my alarm rang

I had only slept for about 5 hours, but I knew it was time to get moving, I was supposed to be leaving the wharf at 04:00 to catch some fish today.

Well not really to catch fish, NOOOO!

I was going there because I needed some air I think,

We did perhaps? Voices in my head or not???…

Anyways I just knew we needed space and some form of quiet but we were just afraid to say it I guess…

Calm Waters at the Sea Front

A week earlier, Scotchie (the skipper), had casually mentioned that I follow him on Facebook and tag along one of his Flex fishing trips. I hadn’t committed at the time…

I just did what we all do, not being man enough and just saying “yeah I will”, knowing well you probably won’t, but as fate would have it…

That week of the fishing trip, I happened to be standing next to one of my mentors when he turned down a fishing invite from the other end of the phone, (Jonathan!, i knew that voice!, let me call him back ASAP…voices in my head again…)

Unbeknownst to me the invite was for a fishing trip on Scotchie’s boat, but I called Jonathan and told him “Ey, you hadn’t called me… but count me in, don’t leave me my ninja”

What are the odds?

My Mentor cancels, I am standing right next to him and the spot opens up, might as well take it right…

Moral

Always be on the look out for opportunities, they might be closer than you think

Anyways, I was thrilled

It was going to be a few hours out at sea with the guys. No Pressure, No Signal, just Homies, Earth, Wind, Water and FISH…

And when i found out we were going on Scotchie’s boat, Baba!!

Killing two birds with one stone…LITERALLY

What more could I ask for.

Lesson 1: The Early Bird Not Only Catches the Fattest Worm But … It Honors the Window

NOW BACK TO 03:00Hrs AND THE ALARM RINGING…

Waiting for Skipper coming with boat to wharf now

Most people were still asleep at the time, And if I am being honest, I also wanted to hit snooze too but

There is something humbling about being part of a crew that is willing to show up when the world is still dark and I was the youngest of the lads so I couldn’t afford to sleep in.

Now that morning reminded me that

Sometimes success

Whatever success means to you is handed to you by the universe or deities you worship not as open doors but as windows

And sometimes the best thing you can do is just show up early and you might just get to see through and get through.

Talking of windows…Double Entendre of sorts…if you get it or recognize the play, drop a comment please

The Bigger Lesson

We had to be at the Wharf by 04:00hrs sharp otherwise if we missed this window, the skipper would abort

Even if we wouldn’t lose money in a place like this , a small community where word travels faster than boats literally, missing out would not just cost you money…

IT WOULD COST YOU TRUST… well at least thats what i believe…

It wasn’t just about “being early”, it was about being in sync with the bigger rhythm of the day.

If we had missed departure at the time, we would have messed up the whole bait-fishing window, while we would caught some fish but it wouldn’t be the same.

That moment reminded me:

Sometimes,

Somethings have already been tried, tested, and studied and your job is not to disrupt anything…just show up and respect the rhythm especially where no innovation is needed…not everything needs reinventing

The wheel is good enough round, and so are old age sayings, they been there for a “minute” for a reason

Sometimes in Engineering especially with us younger millennials and my Gen Z brothers and sisters we romanticize being the disruptor ,the next big thing or Elon Musk of Civil Engineering e.t.c But sometimes … sometimes

The Best move you can ever make is

Shut up, Wake Up and Follow the damn Crew…

i.e Follow the Code of Practice baba!

Lesson 2: Experience and Expertise is not Born – It’s Nurtured

Just before we left the wharf at 04:00hrs, another group showed up.

A grandfather, a father and his 2 sons, of whom the oldest looked to be no older than 7 years old.

The little boys were clearly cold and wanted to sleep but they, like their elders were focused and went onto their boat just like any other normal day.

That moment stuck with me, and when I also later found out the First Mate/Officer of the boat, Rico’s first time on a boat of any kind was when he was 3 years old, it hit me even harder.

Why?

Because these days we talk a lot especially on social media, about how one should follow their passion and also about letting our kids be whoever they want to be, but maybe and just maybe…

The Biggest gift we can give is

Planting skills in the young, not to box them into a certain field but to give them something solid they can always fall back on.

A foundation, A heritage, A craft.

It made me think about us engineers and most of the people in my class from the first day I entered engineering school…

So many of us only got to meet our “thing” in college. We are introduced to entire fields beaming with so many things at 18 or 20 and then we are told to be passionate about them like its supposed to be love at first lecture.

BUT MASTERY IS NOT A DEGREE, IT IS A TIMELINE

And the earlier it starts, the deeper it runs.

So here is a question I was left with and I want to leave with all of you as well,

If it didn’t happen for you, i.e. nobody got you into any profession or taught you a heritage skill at a young age and you were only told to focus on academic books…

Can you make it happen for someone else?

Is there someone you can show the way? or at least hand the torch to?

A nephew, a son, a niece, a daughter, a relative or just another young kid?

Because sometimes its not about being great, its about helping someone else start earlier than you and be greater than you … think, Floyd Mayweather Snr look at the gift he gave the world … the Perfect south Philly shoulder roll… IYKYK

Lesson 3: Use Your Fire While You Still Have it

So yes, I have mentioned it before but yeah I was definitely the youngest guy on that boat that day.

And still without a doubt … the loudest

I swear I just wouldn’t shut up for the first quarter of that journey…more on what happened later… but for now…

I cracked jokes, asked a million questions, gassed up myself, took pictures and videos whilst everyone else was just letting it sink in and yeah…

I saw the side-eyes, but I also saw the smiles… I definitely can be dramatic at times but …

There is something about youthful energy, it might be annoying, but it is also contagious. It lifts the silence, moods and reminds people that there is still joy in the work, even when later you are sea sick, tired and your hands smell like tuna.

But also, I watched the older guys, especially the skipper Scotchie and Rico. They moved with experience.

Efficient, quiet, no wasted energy until the time to strike was ripe. I couldn’t help but think also that maybe they are quiet because they have already spent some of their fire and they don’t have a lot to burn because life does burn through it and we end up coasting sometimes and preserve it for more important things…

I don’t have the same energy I had when started my YouTube channel, and so, in some way, I know what life can do to you.

But for me, that also reminded me

The fire won’t burn bright forever.

In five years , You and I will have more responsibilities. More weight and less bounce and probably more filters before we speak, because pain and heartache makes you empathize more… Thats why they say in Shona “Seka Urema Wafa”

But right now? while you still got some wild energy in you…Use it!

Speak boldly, try Stuff, Ask Stupid Questions and take up opportunities.

Because even if your energy makes the room roll its eyes, it also makes the room remember you, but don’t overdo it…

Lesson 4: Everything Passes – Even the Queasy Weasy Moments

So funniest thing…

One minute I was on camera saying “okay boys now we are done with the bait, its time to go an catch the big boys now“

And a few minutes later was sitting down on one of the cooler boxes starting to feel a little queasy…weasy lol

Sea Sickness… Dang I was dreading it but I knew it, this boat was new and my body was not used to this …

And unfortunately it didn’t just hit me once it kept coming and going…it took CYCLES

What is funny is this wasn’t my first time on a boat. I have done cruises on the Zambezi back in Africa and plenty of Marine Trips here in the South Atlantic Ocean…

But that day? The Ocean said “Nah Fam, Today we humble you!!”

I wasn’t alone though, everyone besides Scotchie and Rico got hit, and one of our guys had plenty of years fishing before albeit in different waters and he held strong but there was a moment he was just sitting down and we all know he was going through it too.

I tried holding it in at first, told myself and Elton, I was just thinking, meditating but I later said “Yeah, I am feeling a little Queasy now”

Jonathan said what did you say? with a smirk &

I said “A little queasy weasy mate” and we all just laughed…

But its only when I finally admitted I was down bad, others started opening up too and that moment taught me two things

  1. You don’t have to act fine just to protect your pride
  2. When someone speaks their truth, it gives others permission to do so too

But the bigger lesson was

Everything comes in Waves

We had moments of hype, catching fish, snapping pictures, celebrating, drinking and then…

We had slumps! heads down, eyes closed...

But we would rise again and that’s the Rhythm of life

Ups and Downs, Joys and Discomforts… That is exactly what life is

That Job you lost and pain you feel, it will come to pass…

That tough project you have at work? It will come to pass…

That design that’s troubling you and the mental slump of fatigue you have….It will come to pass.

BUT SO DO THE WINS ASWELL…THEY ALSO END

And I think that is exactly what makes the good moments feel good…they are short and rare

I was sea sick more than I was good but the good moments were epic I tell you!

You can’t hold them for long, so you feel them more deeply.

So the next time you are in a slump, whether it is work, love or life…

Just whisper to yourself

It’s Just a Queasy Weasy Moment, It Will Come To Pass

And trust me it will, I am writing this at 07:00hrs on another Friday almost a week after the trip and I am good.

Conclusion – The Ocean is Deep

Every tale needs to come an end this is the beginning of the end of mine.

We didn’t all just go out to fish on that day. Some of us needed fish , some the experience, some comradery and some needed to be in harmony with what if feels like to just be in motion and not have the urge to check their phone every two minutes.

We definitely caught fish, we took pictures for sure, we celebrated and laughed but…

But we also sprawled across the boat like shrimp during our sea sickness Queasy Weasy moments and somehow it was all just as memorable.

That’s the thing about life, it’s an ever changing entity, its made up of both the highs and lows & the sorrows and joys.

And lately I have been listening heavily to The Clipse (Pusha T & Malice)’s new album “Let God Sort Em Out” and a bar from Malice has stuck with me…

The way you spelled it out, There is an L in every Lesson…

“Boy, you owe it to the world, let your mess become your message…”

And its true, lessons are valuable but they cost us something AND sometimes! something DEEP and the last part of that bar…

If you are ever troubled! use that pain to refuel your drive and through the lessons learned during that mess that you will be going through in life? You owe it to the world to give them a message.

I have had some high points in my career so far but I have also had some really low ones too and I am still figuring it out…same as in life and love.

Previously I used to cope now I want to be truthful to myself and not lie when I am in the low phases… sometimes its a dark phase and you just have to embrace it…

Maybe this isn’t a comeback, its just me finding a space to become an outlet of sorts but either way

Listen

If you are out there and you are feeling a little queasy weasy from work or life too ….YOU ARE NOT ALONE….

And As usual a final homage to STAR WARS…

source: Pintrest https://www.pinterest.com/pin/212161832440039866/

FEAR is the path to the Dark Side…FEAR turns to ANGER, ANGER turns to HATE, HATE turns to SUFFERING… That’s exactly how Anakin turned into Darth Vader… And I DON’T WANT TO BE my own Version of VADER… behind the cool voice, power and mask, is a man suffering.

Oh and side note…Maybe this is what Love is too, not always loud or perfect…but silent and shaky at times…

And at its best, its just showing up, weathering the storms but also holding space for joy when it shows up like the suns’ rays after a storm…

BUT SERIOUSLY IF YOU ARE A RAP HEAD CHECK OUT THAT ALBUM BY CLISPE ITS DEEP AND DEFINITELY A BOP… LET GOD SORT EM OUT

May The Force Be With You…

242 thoughts on “Lessons from the Sea: Reflections on Life, Love, and Engineering on a fishing trip”

    1. Ryan

      Glad you enjoyed the read brother, appreciate the support and I will keep them coming under the Work Life Balance Branch of the blog.

      Reply

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